- Are we overprotecting our kids? From the article itself:
I used to puzzle over a particular statistic that routinely comes up in articles about time use: even though women work vastly more hours now than they did in the 1970s, mothers—and fathers—of all income levels spend much more time with their children than they used to. This seemed impossible to me until recently, when I began to think about my own life. My mother didn’t work all that much when I was younger, but she didn’t spend vast amounts of time with me, either. She didn’t arrange my playdates or drive me to swimming lessons or introduce me to cool music she liked. On weekdays after school she just expected me to show up for dinner; on weekends I barely saw her at all. I, on the other hand, might easily spend every waking Saturday hour with one if not all three of my children, taking one to a soccer game, the second to a theater program, the third to a friend’s house, or just hanging out with them at home. When my daughter was about 10, my husband suddenly realized that in her whole life, she had probably not spent more than 10 minutes unsupervised by an adult. Not 10 minutes in 10 years.
It’s hard to absorb how much childhood norms have shifted in just one generation. Actions that would have been considered paranoid in the ’70s—walking third-graders to school, forbidding your kid to play ball in the street, going down the slide with your child in your lap—are now routine. In fact, they are the markers of good, responsible parenting. One very thorough study of “children’s independent mobility,” conducted in urban, suburban, and rural neighborhoods in the U.K., shows that in 1971, 80 percent of third-graders walked to school alone. By 1990, that measure had dropped to 9 percent, and now it’s even lower. When you ask parents why they are more protective than their parents were, they might answer that the world is more dangerous than it was when they were growing up. But this isn’t true, or at least not in the way that we think. For example, parents now routinely tell their children never to talk to strangers, even though all available evidence suggests that children have about the same (very slim) chance of being abducted by a stranger as they did a generation ago. Maybe the real question is, how did these fears come to have such a hold over us? And what have our children lost—and gained—as we’ve succumbed to them?
- A philosopher writes about her experiences of her evolving thoughts on freedom after having a child:
I found that something was missing from the great liberal texts that I once enjoyed reading. They didn’t seem to be talking to me anymore. They were talking to ‘man’ – a single entity who thought and acted only for himself, a human being who had no life-altering commitments to another human being. I wanted the liberal texts to tell me how important my new, all-consuming job as a parent was – but it wasn’t there. Suddenly as a parent I felt shut out of these political discussions of freedom and rights – like I was on the outside, looking in. The focus in liberalism was all on the freedom that the individual enjoys as a rational, fully developed adult. There was no mention of how the individual comes develop his rationality. That part, and this is extremely important, was taken for granted.
That’s when it began to dawn on me: In our society, we value ‘the individual’. We value individual rights and individual freedom. Yet, we do not seem to value the process of raising ‘the individual’. We seem to think that will happen naturally, without much thought or effort on the part of anyone. So, we do not value ‘the individuals’ who raise ‘the individual’. Those of us who raise ‘the individual’ are invisible, unimportant. This is what I call the ‘liberal paradox’.
- Schools that accept tax-payers money for teaching creationism.
- Separating the sexes for sex education does not offer any advantages.
- Classrooms focusing on social and emotional skills improve their reading and math skills.
- Does Mormonism modesty mantra actually reduce women to sex objects?
- If men are sexually aggressive in bars, it’s not because he’s drunk, it’s mainly because he’s taking advantage of an intoxicated female.
- Most young women consider sexual assault as normal.
- Up for Polyamory?—”We put so much emphasis on a partner being everything—that this person completes you—and when that doesn’t happen it creates a lot of pressure.”
- Revenge and Rebound Sex don’t make you better off. However, they don’t necessarily make you worse off either.
- Does sleeping with a guy on the first date make him less likely to call back?
- Free birth control does not make women more promiscuous or more likely to practice unsafe sex. You can read the actual study here.
- More than that, getting the HPV vaccine does not make people promiscuous either.
- Could there be a pill to increase your willpower? Would you take such a pill?