This is my third, and possible last, installment on my interests in philosophy pertaining to the philosophy of love and sex.  My previous blog dealt with various philosophers on sex and the blog before dealt with various philosophers on love, flirtation, and marriage.  As before, if there’s anything that I need to add to this list, please let me know.

*=Really Good
**=Must Read

Polyamory, Open Relationships and Promiscuity

• David Hume’s argument goes like this:
1. Men will take care of their children if they know the children come from them.
2. If women are not chaste and modest, then men won’t know if they are taking care of their children.
3. Society would fall apart if men didn’t take care of their children.
4. Therefore, it would be to society’s interest if women were chaste and modest.
• **Frederick Elliston is an extremely well-written philosopher defending promiscuity.  This article needs to be read more.
• Lawrence Casler offers an alternative to marriage such as open marriages, trial marriages, communes, group marriages and nonmonogamous matrimony.
• *How to be an Ethical Slut.
• Open marriages are the minority, but it can be done according to Jenny Block.  Another challenge to traditional marriage.  She talks about it here.
• **I’ve heard many good things about Tristan Taormino Opening Up.  Probably the best place to start to get an idea on the polyamorous lifestyle.
• Website that accompanies the book.  (Note: NSFW)
• A much more scholarly book on non-monogamy.
• Newsweek article about the polyamorus lifestyle.
• This book is about how being monogamous is hard, but offers ways to stay monogamous and to fight our biological urges.
• This book is divided into two sections.  The first part is about swinging, but the second part is about the dynamics of monogamy.
• *Penn & Teller questions Family Values, plus Stephanie Coontz is in it! (note: it’s got some language): 
• Here’s part two: 
• The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance named after Victoria Woodhull.  The site argues that sexual freedom is a basic human right where one should be free to express their own and unique sexuality.
• Need legal help to live in an alternative relationship?  Look here.  From what I hear, the book gets updated every year.
• *Many people unfamiliar with polyamory usually ask how to counter jealousy.  It’s tricky business, but most assume that jealously is an innate emotion and we can’t deny that.  I’m skeptical of that claim, but this essay really hits it home on why jealousy can be something to deal with.
• There’s a lot of websites dedicated to the polyamorus lifestyle:
• A handbook on open relationships.
• Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness.  This is the only major religion that I know of that supports polyamory.
• Loving More.  A really popular website about polyamory and relationship choices.
• The Polyamory Society.  This site is a nice intro to the polyamorus lifestyle.
• **A podcast dedicated to the polyamorous lifestyle.  Great info about everything.
• The Polyamorous Misanthrope.  Polyamorous blog about the polyamorous lifestyle.  Browsing around, it looks like readers can submit questions and she will respond.
• Tons of information on polyamory.
• Site dedicated to the struggles of being polyamorous in a heteronormative world.
• A website dedicated to polyamory.  It’s pretty good.  The author wrote a Master’s Thesis on polyamory.
• There are a lot of websites for matchmaking, but here’s one dedicated to the poly lifestyle.
• Here’s another matchmaking site where you can put up a personal ad.
• I’m not sure if it fits in the polyamory section, but here’s an interesting article on how “stayover” relationships are becoming more popular among college students and college graduates.
• Journal article suggesting that a triparenting model has more advantages than the traditional max-two parenting model.
• The art and etiquette of polyamory.
• A study of swinging in America, but the last half deals with our monocentrism.

Familial Love

• Standard Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s entry.
• Standard Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s entry on feminist perspectives on reproduction and the family.
• Standard Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s entry on childhood.
• **Plato argues in the Republic, Book V that in the ideal city, the families will be communal, lovers will be done by lot, and if the offspring aren’t to good standards, they’ll be left to die.
• Hegel on the family and marriage.
• **Do you owe your parents anything?  After all, they loved you, protected you, and raised you.  Most would say yes.  But Jane English says that you really don’t owe your parents anything.  It’s because familial love is similar to friendship: strictly speaking, you don’t owe your friends anything if they sacrificed anything for you.
• **Should we license parents to have kids in the same way we license people to drive cars?  Hugh LaFollette says yes.
• Everything has been romanticized to a pedestal to the point where it has become unreachable to obtain the goal.  This also includes motherhood.
• Saul Smilansky states that under certain circumstances, one is morally required to bring children into being.
• Kazez has a wonderful analysis about the morality of having children on her blog.
• Brenda Almond laments that the family has been fragmented and she offers a natural law view that suggests we need to uphold the traditional family so that the social ills can be remedied.
• Suppose there was a pill that parents could take so that they would love their child even more through their attitudes, behavior, and emotions.  Should they take them?  Liao investigates.
• Do children have the right to be loved?  Many say yes, Cowden says no.

Friendship

• Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy’s entry.
• *BBC talk about the philosophy of friendship.
• Another overview on friendship.
• Take the friendship intelligence test.
• Combining elements from Aristotle, Millis looks at how Confucius and Mencius value friendship in the community.
• Plato asks what is friendship?  It probably didn’t go like this:   Yet, he might like it because it’s so formulaic.
• **Aristotle seems to answer it: 
• Here is an audio clip describing Aristotle’s friendship.
• **Epicurus gives a hedonistic account of friendship arguing that true friends don’t evaluate us according to the social criteria, it’s only the core that they’re interested in.  Thus, the love from friendships remains unaffected by your appearance or position in the social hierarchy, so you have no qualms in dressing in old clothes or revealing that you made little money this year.  They are most important defense against insecurity and are our greatest sources of strength.
• Cicero’s analysis of friendship, or for a quicker summary.  Or listen to this recitation:   Overall, it’s better to be friends in the private realm rather than in the public realm.
• To love your friend selflessly, you must first love God according to St. Augustine.
• Francis Bacon’s analysis of friendship.
• Montaigne’s analysis of friendship.  Really good friendship is so rare, that it may only happen once every three centuries.
• Kant finds friendship problematic because they don’t act based on rules, but based on love.  Indeed, in heaven, there will be no friends because heaven is a place of perfect morality.
• *Suppose your friend does something objectionable.  Should you interfere?  Most would say no.  Ellen Fox says yes.  Sometimes, you must be paternalistic to your friends because you love your friends.
• Derrida’s Politics of Friendship, or read the whole book here.
• Martha Nussbaum talks about friendship in this interview.  (Note: you’ll have to subscribe to the podcast or buy the episode.)
• *Mark Vernon has a fantastic overview of the philosophy of friendship and contributes his own.  He has a great podcast to go along with it too.
• **Listen to Vernon on the philosophy of friendship.
• Guardian article from Vernon on friendship.
• Elizabeth Telfer investigates the importance of friendship, and whether having unequal concern to friendships is justified.
• Thorough investigation on the history of the philosophy of friendship.

Singledom

• Loners Unite!  Eh, nevermind.  Anneli Rufus argues that being alone does not equal loneliness.  Indeed, she writes a manifesto about it.
• **Bella DePaulo has really put this on the map and I’m hoping she will get more attention.  She argues that singles have been discriminated but this has been hidden and hiding behind the shadows that we simply take it for granted.  She tries to wake us up from our dogmatism of coupledom.  I think people have unfoundational anuptaphobia or monophobia.
• DePaulo has also written about the top 10 Myths about Single People.
• Loneliness is not only a way of life, but it reveals something about the human condition.  For Thomas Dunn, being lonely is the modern individual.
• A great, and very humorous article about how if one is lonely, you only need to think about your possible girlfriend and you’ll be ok again.
• *Not about being single, but the DINK lifestyle is still against the grain in society that people regard childless couples as a non-complete relationship to the point where it’s almost like a “more committed” single lifestyle.
• Essay on how being single benefits your relationships in the future.
• Website dedicated to single studies.
• Here’s another site dedicated to singles.

UPDATED: 8/31/11.  I’ve added an essay on how being single benefits relationships in the future.

I have also added Derrida’s Politics of Friendship.

UPDATED: 9/10/11. I’ve added an essay by Smilansky entitled “Is there a Moral Obligation to Have Children?”

There is a great analysis about the morality of having children by Kazez on her blog as well.

UPDATED: 9/16/11.  I’ve added an essay on how “stayover” relationships have become more popular among college students and college graduates.

UPDATE: 10/08/2011. I’ve added an audio clip on Aristotle’s view of friendship.

UPDATE: 12/17/2011.  Here is a site dedicated to single studies.  There’s also another site dedicated to singles.  

UPDATE: 12/23/2011.  Journal article suggesting that a triparenting model has more advantages than the traditional max-two parenting model.  Plus I’ve added more books about Polyamory and swinging.